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A mate of mine was recently sacked from his job at Alton Towers

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Avg. 2.96 / 5 Stars (2850 votes)

I thought I wanted a career...

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Avg. 3.01 / 5 Stars (2726 votes)

Why don't you ever see a hippo hiding in a tree?

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Avg. 3.03 / 5 Stars (2626 votes)

conjunctivitis.com

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Avg. 2.95 / 5 Stars (2616 votes)

Did you hear about the Mexican train killer?

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Avg. 3.05 / 5 Stars (2613 votes)

Why is six afraid of seven?

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Avg. 2.99 / 5 Stars (2584 votes)

Two muffins in an oven, one turns to the other and says 'bit hot in here'...

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Avg. 3.04 / 5 Stars (2581 votes)

Did you hear about the dyslexic devil worshipper

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Avg. 3.01 / 5 Stars (2532 votes)

What did the ocean say to the beach?

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Avg. 3.07 / 5 Stars (2526 votes)

A blind man walks into a bar...

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Avg. 2.98 / 5 Stars (2515 votes)

Why couldn't Batman go fishing?

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Avg. 3.05 / 5 Stars (2502 votes)

What is brown and rhymes with Snoop?

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Avg. 3.1 / 5 Stars (2499 votes)

My physics teacher told me I had potential...

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Avg. 3.01 / 5 Stars (2499 votes)

My last job was in a blanket factory...

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Avg. 2.99 / 5 Stars (2493 votes)

Velcro...

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Avg. 3.01 / 5 Stars (2490 votes)

Ask me if I am an Orange...

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Avg. 2.98 / 5 Stars (2467 votes)

How do you catch a bra?

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Avg. 2.98 / 5 Stars (2460 votes)

What's red and smells like blue paint?

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Avg. 3.07 / 5 Stars (2454 votes)

What do you call a deer with no eyes?

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Avg. 3.06 / 5 Stars (2451 votes)

Where do Burgers and Hot Dogs go to dance?

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Avg. 3.07 / 5 Stars (2421 votes)

Did you hear the one about the magic tractor?

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Avg. 3.03 / 5 Stars (2417 votes)

What do you call a midget fortune teller who has just robbed a bank?

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Avg. 3.03 / 5 Stars (2411 votes)

What do you call a cow with no legs?

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Avg. 3.05 / 5 Stars (2410 votes)

What do you call a man with no arms or legs swimming in the sea?

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Avg. 2.97 / 5 Stars (2401 votes)

How do you know when you are too drunk to drive?

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Avg. 3.06 / 5 Stars (2399 votes)

The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you wake up and does not stop until...

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Avg. 3.04 / 5 Stars (2391 votes)

Why did the duck go to rehab?

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Avg. 2.98 / 5 Stars (2388 votes)

Why did the Mexican push his wife off a cliff?

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Avg. 2.98 / 5 Stars (2372 votes)

Want to hear a joke about pizza?

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Avg. 3.02 / 5 Stars (2372 votes)

What's the difference between a smart man and a stupid man?

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Avg. 2.95 / 5 Stars (2366 votes)

What's the difference between a porcupine and a Porsche?

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Avg. 3.04 / 5 Stars (2355 votes)

Why does Alice ask so many questions?

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Avg. 3 / 5 Stars (2354 votes)

Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

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Avg. 3.01 / 5 Stars (2354 votes)

What kind of shoes do ninjas wear?

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Avg. 2.97 / 5 Stars (2352 votes)

A little boy and a pedophile are walking in the deep, dark, woods. The little boy says, "Mister, I'm scared! These woods are really creepy."

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Avg. 2.92 / 5 Stars (2348 votes)

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.

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Avg. 3.05 / 5 Stars (2347 votes)

The other half woke up with a massive smile on their face this morning...

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Avg. 2.94 / 5 Stars (2345 votes)

What did the fisherman say to the magician?

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Avg. 3.15 / 5 Stars (2343 votes)

Why did the Golfer wear two pairs of shoes?

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Avg. 3.04 / 5 Stars (2339 votes)

What's red and goes up and down?

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Avg. 2.98 / 5 Stars (2323 votes)

What type of music are balloons scared of?

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Avg. 3 / 5 Stars (2318 votes)

What does an evil chicken lay?

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Avg. 3.1 / 5 Stars (2316 votes)

What do you call a cow that can play a musical instrument?

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Avg. 2.91 / 5 Stars (2312 votes)

What do wooden whales eat?

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Avg. 3.02 / 5 Stars (2309 votes)

Have you ever smelled mothballs?

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Avg. 3.01 / 5 Stars (2308 votes)

Shotgun Weddings...

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Avg. 2.99 / 5 Stars (2295 votes)

If infants can enjoy their infancy...

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Avg. 3 / 5 Stars (2294 votes)

What was Mickey Mouse doing in outer space?

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Avg. 3.06 / 5 Stars (2292 votes)

What is the musical part of a snake?

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Avg. 3 / 5 Stars (2289 votes)

What does a nosey pepper do?

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Avg. 3.05 / 5 Stars (2285 votes)

I am a nobody, nobody is perfect...

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Avg. 2.99 / 5 Stars (2285 votes)

I wondered why the Frisbee was getting bigger...

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Avg. 2.96 / 5 Stars (2285 votes)

Sunbathing and reading will make you...

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Avg. 3 / 5 Stars (2283 votes)

Why can't Ray Charles see his friends?

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Avg. 3.01 / 5 Stars (2280 votes)

My pet mouse Elvis died today...

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Avg. 3.01 / 5 Stars (2277 votes)

How does NASA organize their company party?

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Avg. 3.05 / 5 Stars (2272 votes)

Sex is not the answer...

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Avg. 3.05 / 5 Stars (2271 votes)

What makes pirates such good singers?

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Avg. 2.98 / 5 Stars (2271 votes)

How do you make holy water?

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Avg. 3 / 5 Stars (2269 votes)

If con is the opposite of pro...

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Avg. 3.02 / 5 Stars (2267 votes)

How do you keep Pumba from charging you?

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Avg. 3.01 / 5 Stars (2266 votes)

Magician was walking down the street

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Avg. 3 / 5 Stars (2266 votes)

Why are Pirates called Pirates?

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Avg. 3 / 5 Stars (2264 votes)

Doctor: You're overweight. Patient: I think I want a second opinion...

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Avg. 2.96 / 5 Stars (2264 votes)

A farmer in the field with his cows counted 196 of them...

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Avg. 3.01 / 5 Stars (2259 votes)

Without geometry...

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Avg. 2.96 / 5 Stars (2253 votes)

What makes music on your head?

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Avg. 3.01 / 5 Stars (2245 votes)

Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff...

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Avg. 2.96 / 5 Stars (2245 votes)

What did one tennis ball say to the other?

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Avg. 3 / 5 Stars (2244 votes)

I'm not saying she's fat. But if I had to name 5 of the fattest people I know...

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Avg. 3.03 / 5 Stars (2238 votes)

How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman?

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Avg. 2.99 / 5 Stars (2235 votes)

I accidentally swallowed some Scrabble letters last night...

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Avg. 3.01 / 5 Stars (2235 votes)

I pretend to work here...

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Avg. 3.03 / 5 Stars (2234 votes)

This guy with a premature ejaculation problem

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Avg. 2.99 / 5 Stars (2231 votes)

The bartender says 'we don't server Time Travelers here'

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Avg. 2.99 / 5 Stars (2228 votes)

Why couldn't the athlete listen to her music?

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Avg. 3.04 / 5 Stars (2227 votes)

Two fish in a tank, one says to the other...

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Avg. 3.06 / 5 Stars (2227 votes)

What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes?

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Avg. 2.94 / 5 Stars (2225 votes)

Why did Mozart get rid of his chickens?

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Avg. 2.98 / 5 Stars (2224 votes)

What happens if life gives you melons?

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Avg. 3 / 5 Stars (2223 votes)

A dyslexic man walks into a Bra...

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Avg. 2.97 / 5 Stars (2222 votes)

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?

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Avg. 2.99 / 5 Stars (2221 votes)

What do you call a sleepwalking nun?

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Avg. 3.06 / 5 Stars (2219 votes)

I used to like my neighbors...

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Avg. 3.04 / 5 Stars (2219 votes)

What is orange and sounds like a parrot?

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Avg. 3.01 / 5 Stars (2216 votes)

The 7 dwarfs were all in the bath feeling Happy...

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Avg. 3.1 / 5 Stars (2213 votes)

What is the difference between Swine & Bird Flu?

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Avg. 3.11 / 5 Stars (2211 votes)

What is the difference between a fish and a piano?

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Avg. 3 / 5 Stars (2211 votes)

What's the difference between a 16'' pizza and a musician?

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Avg. 3.06 / 5 Stars (2208 votes)

What do you call an Alligator in a vest?

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Avg. 3 / 5 Stars (2208 votes)

My uncle has the heart of a lion...

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Avg. 2.98 / 5 Stars (2207 votes)

A Freudian slip is when you say one thing when you mean...

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Avg. 2.98 / 5 Stars (2202 votes)

Why do men get married?

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Avg. 3.01 / 5 Stars (2195 votes)

What do Tofu and a Dildo have in common?

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Avg. 2.99 / 5 Stars (2195 votes)

If practice makes perfect, and nobody's perfect...

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Avg. 2.99 / 5 Stars (2195 votes)

Who is the coolest bloke in a hostipal?

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Avg. 2.96 / 5 Stars (2187 votes)

I heard on the news that David Beckham is going to miss the World Cup...

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Avg. 2.97 / 5 Stars (2185 votes)

What do you call a man with no arms or legs in a fight with a cat?

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Avg. 2.99 / 5 Stars (2171 votes)

I would tell you a joke about my penis...

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Avg. 2.94 / 5 Stars (2169 votes)

Which tablet is prefferd by Mickey Mouse?

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Avg. 3 / 5 Stars (2167 votes)

Why did the girl sit on the ladder to sing?

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Avg. 3.01 / 5 Stars (2167 votes)

Why can't you hear a Pterodactyl going to the toilet?

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Avg. 2.95 / 5 Stars (2166 votes)

What has forty feet and sings?

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Avg. 2.97 / 5 Stars (2160 votes)

What is red and bad for your teeth?

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Avg. 2.99 / 5 Stars (2156 votes)

Two translators on a sinking ship talking 'Can you swim?' asks one

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Avg. 3 / 5 Stars (2155 votes)

Did you hear what happened to the two guys whole stole a Calendar?

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Avg. 2.92 / 5 Stars (2155 votes)

What is brown and sticky?

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Avg. 3.02 / 5 Stars (2149 votes)

What is Bruce Lee’s favorite drink?

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Avg. 3 / 5 Stars (2144 votes)

What do you call a flightless bird from Iceland?

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Avg. 2.93 / 5 Stars (2144 votes)

What do you get when you cross a burger with a PC?

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Avg. 3.03 / 5 Stars (2142 votes)

What do you call a sophisticated American?

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Avg. 2.98 / 5 Stars (2141 votes)

What do you get when you cross a kangaroo with a sheep?

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Avg. 2.98 / 5 Stars (2140 votes)

Which blood type are all pessimists?

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Avg. 3.01 / 5 Stars (2137 votes)

Why did the little boy drop his ice cream?

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Avg. 2.94 / 5 Stars (2137 votes)

You'll never guess who I bumped into on the way to the opticians!

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Avg. 2.97 / 5 Stars (2137 votes)

What do you call a black guy flying a plane?

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Avg. 3.03 / 5 Stars (2134 votes)

What's the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer?

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Avg. 3.03 / 5 Stars (2134 votes)

What do you call a sheep with no legs?

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Avg. 2.98 / 5 Stars (2130 votes)

Have you heard about that new movie "Constipation"?

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Avg. 2.98 / 5 Stars (2127 votes)

Why did Hitler commit suicide?

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Avg. 3.07 / 5 Stars (2126 votes)

How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

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Avg. 3.03 / 5 Stars (2125 votes)

A friend of mine recently got crushed by a pile of books...

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Avg. 3.01 / 5 Stars (2125 votes)

What did the big Chimney say to the little Chimney?

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Avg. 2.98 / 5 Stars (2123 votes)

Why are fish never good tennis players?

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Avg. 2.94 / 5 Stars (2122 votes)

Where do ghosts play tennis?

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Avg. 2.95 / 5 Stars (2116 votes)

What do you call a bear with no teeth?

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Avg. 2.99 / 5 Stars (2111 votes)

What do you serve but not eat?

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Avg. 2.97 / 5 Stars (2110 votes)

Where did the music teacher leave his keys?

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Avg. 2.93 / 5 Stars (2109 votes)

What did the tennis ball say when it got hit?

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Avg. 3.02 / 5 Stars (2102 votes)

What did the fish say when he swam into a wall?

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Avg. 2.92 / 5 Stars (2102 votes)

What happened when the butcher backed into his meat grinder?

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Avg. 2.95 / 5 Stars (2097 votes)

When you dream in colour...

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Avg. 3.02 / 5 Stars (2097 votes)

It is hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs...

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Avg. 2.97 / 5 Stars (2088 votes)

What's 6 inches long, has a head on it and drives women crazy?

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Avg. 2.98 / 5 Stars (2087 votes)

Why did the Orange stop at the top of the hill?

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Avg. 2.93 / 5 Stars (2087 votes)

What is better than winning gold at the Paralympics?

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Avg. 2.99 / 5 Stars (2085 votes)

What did madaline mcann say to her parents?

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Avg. 2.97 / 5 Stars (2065 votes)

Two snowmen are standing in a field. One says to the other...

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Avg. 2.96 / 5 Stars (2061 votes)

What do you call a man with a Seagull on his head?

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Avg. 2.98 / 5 Stars (2055 votes)

Wanna catch a Squirrel?

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Avg. 2.95 / 5 Stars (2051 votes)

Why are there no Airports near Peter Pan?

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Avg. 3 / 5 Stars (2038 votes)

What do you call a little animal you keep in a car?

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Avg. 2.94 / 5 Stars (2034 votes)

How many Surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

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Avg. 2.93 / 5 Stars (2031 votes)

What part of the turkey is musical?

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Avg. 3 / 5 Stars (2021 votes)

What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?

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Avg. 2.92 / 5 Stars (2021 votes)

Why should you never fall in love with a tennis player?

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Avg. 2.98 / 5 Stars (2013 votes)

There was a prison break and I saw a midget climb up the fence...

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Avg. 3.01 / 5 Stars (1989 votes)

I used to think the brain was the most important organ

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Avg. 2.99 / 5 Stars (1972 votes)

Next time you feel cold, just stand in a corner...

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Avg. 3.01 / 5 Stars (1970 votes)

What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work?

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Avg. 2.93 / 5 Stars (782 votes)

Why shouldn't you write with a broken pencil?

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Avg. 3 / 5 Stars (613 votes)

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

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Avg. 2.85 / 5 Stars (613 votes)

Why don’t they play poker in the jungle?

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Avg. 2.92 / 5 Stars (577 votes)

Want to hear a joke about a piece of paper?

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Avg. 3.01 / 5 Stars (556 votes)

Why did the golfer change his pants?

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Avg. 3 / 5 Stars (513 votes)

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