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A mate of mine was recently sacked from his job at Alton Towers

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Avg. 2.98 / 5 Stars (3859 votes)

I thought I wanted a career...

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Avg. 3 / 5 Stars (3836 votes)

What did the ocean say to the beach?

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Avg. 3.07 / 5 Stars (3724 votes)

conjunctivitis.com

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Avg. 2.96 / 5 Stars (3681 votes)

Did you hear about the Mexican train killer?

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Avg. 3.03 / 5 Stars (3676 votes)

Two muffins in an oven, one turns to the other and says 'bit hot in here'...

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Avg. 3.03 / 5 Stars (3611 votes)

Why is six afraid of seven?

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Avg. 2.98 / 5 Stars (3601 votes)

Why don't you ever see a hippo hiding in a tree?

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Avg. 3.02 / 5 Stars (3577 votes)

Did you hear about the dyslexic devil worshipper

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Avg. 3.02 / 5 Stars (3558 votes)

Did you hear the one about the magic tractor?

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Avg. 3.01 / 5 Stars (3495 votes)

What do you call a deer with no eyes?

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Avg. 3.04 / 5 Stars (3471 votes)

Velcro...

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Avg. 3.01 / 5 Stars (3468 votes)

Where do Burgers and Hot Dogs go to dance?

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Avg. 3.06 / 5 Stars (3465 votes)

A blind man walks into a bar...

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Avg. 2.98 / 5 Stars (3463 votes)

What is the musical part of a snake?

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Avg. 3.03 / 5 Stars (3445 votes)

My last job was in a blanket factory...

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Avg. 2.99 / 5 Stars (3441 votes)

What's the difference between a porcupine and a Porsche?

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Avg. 3.05 / 5 Stars (3433 votes)

Want to hear a joke about pizza?

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Avg. 3 / 5 Stars (3433 votes)

What's the difference between a 16'' pizza and a musician?

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Avg. 2.95 / 5 Stars (3429 votes)

Why couldn't Batman go fishing?

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Avg. 3.04 / 5 Stars (3428 votes)

What's red and smells like blue paint?

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Avg. 3.05 / 5 Stars (3425 votes)

My physics teacher told me I had potential...

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Avg. 3 / 5 Stars (3411 votes)

What do you call a cow with no legs?

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Avg. 3.01 / 5 Stars (3411 votes)

What kind of shoes do ninjas wear?

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Avg. 3 / 5 Stars (3408 votes)

What makes pirates such good singers?

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Avg. 2.95 / 5 Stars (3402 votes)

Ask me if I am an Orange...

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Avg. 2.97 / 5 Stars (3401 votes)

How do you catch a bra?

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Avg. 2.98 / 5 Stars (3388 votes)

What does an evil chicken lay?

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Avg. 3.12 / 5 Stars (3387 votes)

What is brown and rhymes with Snoop?

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Avg. 3.06 / 5 Stars (3371 votes)

What type of music are balloons scared of?

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Avg. 3.02 / 5 Stars (3351 votes)

The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you wake up and does not stop until...

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Avg. 3.05 / 5 Stars (3344 votes)

Why did the Mexican push his wife off a cliff?

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Avg. 2.99 / 5 Stars (3343 votes)

What's red and goes up and down?

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Avg. 2.96 / 5 Stars (3342 votes)

Shotgun Weddings...

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Avg. 2.99 / 5 Stars (3327 votes)

Why did the duck go to rehab?

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Avg. 2.99 / 5 Stars (3321 votes)

What makes music on your head?

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Avg. 3.02 / 5 Stars (3316 votes)

What do you call a man with no arms or legs swimming in the sea?

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Avg. 2.96 / 5 Stars (3313 votes)

How does NASA organize their company party?

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Avg. 3.07 / 5 Stars (3311 votes)

What did the fisherman say to the magician?

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Avg. 3.09 / 5 Stars (3308 votes)

What's the difference between a smart man and a stupid man?

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Avg. 2.98 / 5 Stars (3307 votes)

If con is the opposite of pro...

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Avg. 3.01 / 5 Stars (3303 votes)

The other half woke up with a massive smile on their face this morning...

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Avg. 2.97 / 5 Stars (3301 votes)

How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman?

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Avg. 2.93 / 5 Stars (3300 votes)

Have you ever smelled mothballs?

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Avg. 3.01 / 5 Stars (3298 votes)

Without geometry...

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Avg. 2.97 / 5 Stars (3297 votes)

What do you call a midget fortune teller who has just robbed a bank?

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Avg. 3.02 / 5 Stars (3295 votes)

What does a nosey pepper do?

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Avg. 3.05 / 5 Stars (3278 votes)

Why did the Golfer wear two pairs of shoes?

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Avg. 3.03 / 5 Stars (3278 votes)

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.

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Avg. 3.02 / 5 Stars (3275 votes)

What do wooden whales eat?

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Avg. 3.05 / 5 Stars (3271 votes)

Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

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Avg. 3 / 5 Stars (3268 votes)

How do you know when you are too drunk to drive?

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Avg. 3.05 / 5 Stars (3266 votes)

What do you call a cow that can play a musical instrument?

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Avg. 2.96 / 5 Stars (3266 votes)

How do you make holy water?

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Avg. 3 / 5 Stars (3263 votes)

Sex is not the answer...

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Avg. 3.04 / 5 Stars (3258 votes)

What do you call an Alligator in a vest?

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Avg. 3.01 / 5 Stars (3257 votes)

Why does Alice ask so many questions?

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Avg. 3 / 5 Stars (3256 votes)

Why are Pirates called Pirates?

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Avg. 3.01 / 5 Stars (3248 votes)

Have you heard about that new movie "Constipation"?

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Avg. 2.97 / 5 Stars (3243 votes)

I would tell you a joke about my penis...

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Avg. 2.94 / 5 Stars (3242 votes)

I wondered why the Frisbee was getting bigger...

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Avg. 2.97 / 5 Stars (3240 votes)

What do you call a sleepwalking nun?

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Avg. 3.05 / 5 Stars (3233 votes)

A farmer in the field with his cows counted 196 of them...

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Avg. 2.97 / 5 Stars (3229 votes)

My uncle has the heart of a lion...

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Avg. 2.96 / 5 Stars (3227 votes)

If infants can enjoy their infancy...

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Avg. 2.94 / 5 Stars (3225 votes)

I am a nobody, nobody is perfect...

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Avg. 3 / 5 Stars (3222 votes)

A little boy and a pedophile are walking in the deep, dark, woods. The little boy says, "Mister, I'm scared! These woods are really creepy."

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Avg. 2.96 / 5 Stars (3215 votes)

Magician was walking down the street

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Avg. 2.99 / 5 Stars (3204 votes)

Sunbathing and reading will make you...

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Avg. 3 / 5 Stars (3191 votes)

What was Mickey Mouse doing in outer space?

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Avg. 3.04 / 5 Stars (3188 votes)

Why do men get married?

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Avg. 3 / 5 Stars (3188 votes)

A dyslexic man walks into a Bra...

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Avg. 2.99 / 5 Stars (3186 votes)

Why couldn't the athlete listen to her music?

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Avg. 3.04 / 5 Stars (3184 votes)

What is the difference between a fish and a piano?

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Avg. 3 / 5 Stars (3184 votes)

I pretend to work here...

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Avg. 3.01 / 5 Stars (3184 votes)

Where do ghosts play tennis?

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Avg. 2.98 / 5 Stars (3184 votes)

I accidentally swallowed some Scrabble letters last night...

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Avg. 3.01 / 5 Stars (3177 votes)

Why did Mozart get rid of his chickens?

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Avg. 2.96 / 5 Stars (3177 votes)

Doctor: You're overweight. Patient: I think I want a second opinion...

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Avg. 2.97 / 5 Stars (3175 votes)

I heard on the news that David Beckham is going to miss the World Cup...

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Avg. 3.01 / 5 Stars (3173 votes)

Why can't Ray Charles see his friends?

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Avg. 3 / 5 Stars (3171 votes)

My pet mouse Elvis died today...

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Avg. 3 / 5 Stars (3166 votes)

Why did Hitler commit suicide?

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Avg. 3.03 / 5 Stars (3165 votes)

I used to like my neighbors...

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Avg. 3.02 / 5 Stars (3157 votes)

The bartender says 'we don't server Time Travelers here'

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Avg. 3 / 5 Stars (3154 votes)

What is orange and sounds like a parrot?

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Avg. 3.01 / 5 Stars (3150 votes)

What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes?

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Avg. 2.95 / 5 Stars (3150 votes)

What is red and bad for your teeth?

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Avg. 2.98 / 5 Stars (3148 votes)

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?

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Avg. 3 / 5 Stars (3144 votes)

A Freudian slip is when you say one thing when you mean...

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Avg. 3.02 / 5 Stars (3133 votes)

I'm not saying she's fat. But if I had to name 5 of the fattest people I know...

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Avg. 3.03 / 5 Stars (3133 votes)

What did one tennis ball say to the other?

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Avg. 2.99 / 5 Stars (3131 votes)

What happens if life gives you melons?

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Avg. 2.99 / 5 Stars (3127 votes)

Who is the coolest bloke in a hostipal?

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Avg. 2.96 / 5 Stars (3127 votes)

Two fish in a tank, one says to the other...

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Avg. 3.03 / 5 Stars (3123 votes)

You'll never guess who I bumped into on the way to the opticians!

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Avg. 2.96 / 5 Stars (3120 votes)

Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff...

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Avg. 2.96 / 5 Stars (3117 votes)

The 7 dwarfs were all in the bath feeling Happy...

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Avg. 3.09 / 5 Stars (3108 votes)

How do you keep Pumba from charging you?

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Avg. 3.01 / 5 Stars (3102 votes)

What is Bruce Lee’s favorite drink?

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Avg. 3 / 5 Stars (3100 votes)

What do Tofu and a Dildo have in common?

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Avg. 2.99 / 5 Stars (3100 votes)

Why are fish never good tennis players?

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Avg. 2.95 / 5 Stars (3098 votes)

Where did the music teacher leave his keys?

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Avg. 2.93 / 5 Stars (3098 votes)

This guy with a premature ejaculation problem

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Avg. 2.98 / 5 Stars (3097 votes)

Which tablet is prefferd by Mickey Mouse?

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Avg. 3.02 / 5 Stars (3094 votes)

What do you call a sophisticated American?

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Avg. 2.96 / 5 Stars (3092 votes)

Why did the girl sit on the ladder to sing?

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Avg. 3.01 / 5 Stars (3088 votes)

Why did the little boy drop his ice cream?

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Avg. 2.95 / 5 Stars (3088 votes)

If practice makes perfect, and nobody's perfect...

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Avg. 2.98 / 5 Stars (3088 votes)

What's 6 inches long, has a head on it and drives women crazy?

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Avg. 2.99 / 5 Stars (3077 votes)

What has forty feet and sings?

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Avg. 2.98 / 5 Stars (3077 votes)

What's the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer?

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Avg. 3.02 / 5 Stars (3076 votes)

When you dream in colour...

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Avg. 3.02 / 5 Stars (3075 votes)

What is brown and sticky?

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Avg. 3.03 / 5 Stars (3071 votes)

What do you call a flightless bird from Iceland?

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Avg. 2.97 / 5 Stars (3068 votes)

What is the difference between Swine & Bird Flu?

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Avg. 3.07 / 5 Stars (3056 votes)

How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

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Avg. 3.03 / 5 Stars (3055 votes)

Why can't you hear a Pterodactyl going to the toilet?

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Avg. 2.97 / 5 Stars (3053 votes)

What do you call a man with no arms or legs in a fight with a cat?

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Avg. 2.99 / 5 Stars (3049 votes)

What do you call a black guy flying a plane?

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Avg. 3.01 / 5 Stars (3047 votes)

Two translators on a sinking ship talking 'Can you swim?' asks one

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Avg. 3 / 5 Stars (3042 votes)

What do you serve but not eat?

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Avg. 2.99 / 5 Stars (3042 votes)

What do you get when you cross a kangaroo with a sheep?

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Avg. 2.95 / 5 Stars (3041 votes)

What part of the turkey is musical?

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Avg. 3.01 / 5 Stars (3037 votes)

What do you call a sheep with no legs?

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Avg. 2.98 / 5 Stars (3016 votes)

A friend of mine recently got crushed by a pile of books...

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Avg. 3 / 5 Stars (3009 votes)

What do you call a bear with no teeth?

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Avg. 2.99 / 5 Stars (3007 votes)

What do you get when you cross a burger with a PC?

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Avg. 3.02 / 5 Stars (3002 votes)

Why should you never fall in love with a tennis player?

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Avg. 2.96 / 5 Stars (2998 votes)

What did the big Chimney say to the little Chimney?

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Avg. 2.98 / 5 Stars (2998 votes)

What did the tennis ball say when it got hit?

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Avg. 3 / 5 Stars (2997 votes)

What do you call a man with a Seagull on his head?

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Avg. 2.99 / 5 Stars (2994 votes)

Which blood type are all pessimists?

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Avg. 3.01 / 5 Stars (2990 votes)

Wanna catch a Squirrel?

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Avg. 2.99 / 5 Stars (2989 votes)

Did you hear what happened to the two guys whole stole a Calendar?

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Avg. 2.94 / 5 Stars (2989 votes)

What did the fish say when he swam into a wall?

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Avg. 2.94 / 5 Stars (2980 votes)

What did madaline mcann say to her parents?

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Avg. 2.98 / 5 Stars (2973 votes)

What happened when the butcher backed into his meat grinder?

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Avg. 2.96 / 5 Stars (2949 votes)

What is better than winning gold at the Paralympics?

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Avg. 3 / 5 Stars (2943 votes)

It is hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs...

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Avg. 2.97 / 5 Stars (2932 votes)

Why did the Orange stop at the top of the hill?

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Avg. 2.95 / 5 Stars (2931 votes)

What do you call a little animal you keep in a car?

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Avg. 2.97 / 5 Stars (2918 votes)

There was a prison break and I saw a midget climb up the fence...

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Avg. 3.02 / 5 Stars (2906 votes)

How many Surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

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Avg. 2.93 / 5 Stars (2896 votes)

Two snowmen are standing in a field. One says to the other...

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Avg. 2.98 / 5 Stars (2894 votes)

Why are there no Airports near Peter Pan?

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Avg. 3.01 / 5 Stars (2887 votes)

I used to think the brain was the most important organ

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Avg. 3 / 5 Stars (2862 votes)

What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?

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Avg. 2.95 / 5 Stars (2858 votes)

Next time you feel cold, just stand in a corner...

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Avg. 3.02 / 5 Stars (2836 votes)

What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work?

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Avg. 3 / 5 Stars (1639 votes)

Why shouldn't you write with a broken pencil?

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Avg. 3.04 / 5 Stars (1495 votes)

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

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Avg. 2.91 / 5 Stars (1437 votes)

Why don’t they play poker in the jungle?

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Avg. 2.98 / 5 Stars (1378 votes)

Want to hear a joke about a piece of paper?

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Avg. 3.01 / 5 Stars (1357 votes)

Why did the golfer change his pants?

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Avg. 2.99 / 5 Stars (1273 votes)

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