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A mate of mine was recently sacked from his job at Alton Towers

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Avg. 2.98 / 5 Stars (3498 votes)

I thought I wanted a career...

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Avg. 3.01 / 5 Stars (3394 votes)

Did you hear about the Mexican train killer?

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Avg. 3.04 / 5 Stars (3291 votes)

conjunctivitis.com

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Avg. 2.97 / 5 Stars (3277 votes)

Why don't you ever see a hippo hiding in a tree?

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Avg. 3.03 / 5 Stars (3223 votes)

Two muffins in an oven, one turns to the other and says 'bit hot in here'...

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Avg. 3.04 / 5 Stars (3214 votes)

Why is six afraid of seven?

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Avg. 2.97 / 5 Stars (3203 votes)

What did the ocean say to the beach?

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Avg. 3.05 / 5 Stars (3185 votes)

Did you hear about the dyslexic devil worshipper

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Avg. 3.02 / 5 Stars (3156 votes)

My last job was in a blanket factory...

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Avg. 2.99 / 5 Stars (3099 votes)

Did you hear the one about the magic tractor?

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Avg. 3.02 / 5 Stars (3090 votes)

What do you call a deer with no eyes?

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Avg. 3.04 / 5 Stars (3081 votes)

Velcro...

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Avg. 3.01 / 5 Stars (3081 votes)

Why couldn't Batman go fishing?

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Avg. 3.04 / 5 Stars (3079 votes)

A blind man walks into a bar...

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Avg. 2.98 / 5 Stars (3075 votes)

My physics teacher told me I had potential...

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Avg. 3 / 5 Stars (3070 votes)

What's red and smells like blue paint?

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Avg. 3.06 / 5 Stars (3069 votes)

What's the difference between a 16'' pizza and a musician?

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Avg. 2.93 / 5 Stars (3062 votes)

Want to hear a joke about pizza?

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Avg. 3 / 5 Stars (3048 votes)

Where do Burgers and Hot Dogs go to dance?

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Avg. 3.03 / 5 Stars (3046 votes)

How do you catch a bra?

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Avg. 2.98 / 5 Stars (3027 votes)

What is brown and rhymes with Snoop?

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Avg. 3.07 / 5 Stars (3026 votes)

Ask me if I am an Orange...

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Avg. 2.97 / 5 Stars (3024 votes)

What do you call a cow with no legs?

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Avg. 3.03 / 5 Stars (3019 votes)

What do you call a man with no arms or legs swimming in the sea?

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Avg. 2.96 / 5 Stars (2993 votes)

What's the difference between a porcupine and a Porsche?

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Avg. 3.01 / 5 Stars (2992 votes)

Shotgun Weddings...

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Avg. 2.99 / 5 Stars (2990 votes)

The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you wake up and does not stop until...

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Avg. 3.04 / 5 Stars (2983 votes)

What kind of shoes do ninjas wear?

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Avg. 3 / 5 Stars (2983 votes)

What does an evil chicken lay?

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Avg. 3.12 / 5 Stars (2974 votes)

What do you call a midget fortune teller who has just robbed a bank?

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Avg. 3.02 / 5 Stars (2959 votes)

Why did the Mexican push his wife off a cliff?

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Avg. 3 / 5 Stars (2955 votes)

What type of music are balloons scared of?

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Avg. 3.01 / 5 Stars (2943 votes)

Why did the duck go to rehab?

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Avg. 2.99 / 5 Stars (2942 votes)

What did the fisherman say to the magician?

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Avg. 3.12 / 5 Stars (2941 votes)

What's red and goes up and down?

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Avg. 2.96 / 5 Stars (2940 votes)

How do you know when you are too drunk to drive?

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Avg. 3.05 / 5 Stars (2930 votes)

Have you ever smelled mothballs?

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Avg. 3.01 / 5 Stars (2927 votes)

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.

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Avg. 3.03 / 5 Stars (2926 votes)

If con is the opposite of pro...

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Avg. 3.01 / 5 Stars (2926 votes)

What do you call a cow that can play a musical instrument?

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Avg. 2.95 / 5 Stars (2925 votes)

The other half woke up with a massive smile on their face this morning...

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Avg. 2.94 / 5 Stars (2924 votes)

How does NASA organize their company party?

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Avg. 3.07 / 5 Stars (2923 votes)

Without geometry...

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Avg. 2.97 / 5 Stars (2923 votes)

What's the difference between a smart man and a stupid man?

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Avg. 2.98 / 5 Stars (2923 votes)

Why did the Golfer wear two pairs of shoes?

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Avg. 3.03 / 5 Stars (2918 votes)

What is the musical part of a snake?

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Avg. 2.99 / 5 Stars (2914 votes)

What does a nosey pepper do?

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Avg. 3.05 / 5 Stars (2912 votes)

What makes pirates such good singers?

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Avg. 2.98 / 5 Stars (2910 votes)

Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

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Avg. 3 / 5 Stars (2909 votes)

Why does Alice ask so many questions?

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Avg. 3 / 5 Stars (2908 votes)

I wondered why the Frisbee was getting bigger...

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Avg. 2.97 / 5 Stars (2887 votes)

What do wooden whales eat?

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Avg. 3.03 / 5 Stars (2885 votes)

How do you make holy water?

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Avg. 3 / 5 Stars (2885 votes)

What makes music on your head?

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Avg. 3.01 / 5 Stars (2881 votes)

Sex is not the answer...

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Avg. 3.04 / 5 Stars (2866 votes)

A farmer in the field with his cows counted 196 of them...

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Avg. 2.98 / 5 Stars (2865 votes)

A little boy and a pedophile are walking in the deep, dark, woods. The little boy says, "Mister, I'm scared! These woods are really creepy."

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Avg. 2.95 / 5 Stars (2864 votes)

What do you call an Alligator in a vest?

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Avg. 3.01 / 5 Stars (2862 votes)

I am a nobody, nobody is perfect...

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Avg. 2.99 / 5 Stars (2853 votes)

I would tell you a joke about my penis...

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Avg. 2.94 / 5 Stars (2849 votes)

Why are Pirates called Pirates?

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Avg. 3 / 5 Stars (2849 votes)

Why can't Ray Charles see his friends?

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Avg. 3 / 5 Stars (2848 votes)

Magician was walking down the street

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Avg. 2.99 / 5 Stars (2848 votes)

What was Mickey Mouse doing in outer space?

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Avg. 3.04 / 5 Stars (2847 votes)

Sunbathing and reading will make you...

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Avg. 3 / 5 Stars (2842 votes)

What do you call a sleepwalking nun?

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Avg. 3.05 / 5 Stars (2841 votes)

Why did Mozart get rid of his chickens?

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Avg. 2.97 / 5 Stars (2840 votes)

Doctor: You're overweight. Patient: I think I want a second opinion...

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Avg. 2.97 / 5 Stars (2839 votes)

If infants can enjoy their infancy...

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Avg. 2.98 / 5 Stars (2838 votes)

Why couldn't the athlete listen to her music?

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Avg. 3.04 / 5 Stars (2836 votes)

My uncle has the heart of a lion...

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Avg. 2.96 / 5 Stars (2834 votes)

Why do men get married?

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Avg. 3 / 5 Stars (2822 votes)

I heard on the news that David Beckham is going to miss the World Cup...

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Avg. 2.99 / 5 Stars (2819 votes)

A dyslexic man walks into a Bra...

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Avg. 2.97 / 5 Stars (2817 votes)

How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman?

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Avg. 2.97 / 5 Stars (2816 votes)

I accidentally swallowed some Scrabble letters last night...

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Avg. 3.01 / 5 Stars (2816 votes)

What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes?

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Avg. 2.94 / 5 Stars (2814 votes)

A Freudian slip is when you say one thing when you mean...

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Avg. 3.02 / 5 Stars (2809 votes)

Have you heard about that new movie "Constipation"?

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Avg. 2.96 / 5 Stars (2804 votes)

My pet mouse Elvis died today...

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Avg. 3 / 5 Stars (2803 votes)

What is orange and sounds like a parrot?

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Avg. 3.01 / 5 Stars (2801 votes)

I pretend to work here...

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Avg. 3.02 / 5 Stars (2801 votes)

I used to like my neighbors...

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Avg. 3.02 / 5 Stars (2795 votes)

What happens if life gives you melons?

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Avg. 2.99 / 5 Stars (2790 votes)

What is the difference between a fish and a piano?

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Avg. 3.01 / 5 Stars (2787 votes)

The bartender says 'we don't server Time Travelers here'

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Avg. 2.99 / 5 Stars (2787 votes)

I'm not saying she's fat. But if I had to name 5 of the fattest people I know...

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Avg. 3.02 / 5 Stars (2786 votes)

You'll never guess who I bumped into on the way to the opticians!

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Avg. 2.96 / 5 Stars (2784 votes)

This guy with a premature ejaculation problem

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Avg. 2.98 / 5 Stars (2782 votes)

What did one tennis ball say to the other?

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Avg. 3 / 5 Stars (2781 votes)

What do Tofu and a Dildo have in common?

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Avg. 3 / 5 Stars (2781 votes)

Why did Hitler commit suicide?

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Avg. 3.04 / 5 Stars (2777 votes)

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?

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Avg. 3 / 5 Stars (2775 votes)

How do you keep Pumba from charging you?

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Avg. 3.01 / 5 Stars (2775 votes)

What is red and bad for your teeth?

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Avg. 2.98 / 5 Stars (2774 votes)

The 7 dwarfs were all in the bath feeling Happy...

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Avg. 3.1 / 5 Stars (2772 votes)

Two fish in a tank, one says to the other...

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Avg. 3.04 / 5 Stars (2770 votes)

Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff...

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Avg. 2.96 / 5 Stars (2770 votes)

Who is the coolest bloke in a hostipal?

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Avg. 2.96 / 5 Stars (2760 votes)

Where do ghosts play tennis?

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Avg. 2.97 / 5 Stars (2750 votes)

If practice makes perfect, and nobody's perfect...

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Avg. 2.99 / 5 Stars (2748 votes)

What is the difference between Swine & Bird Flu?

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Avg. 3.08 / 5 Stars (2742 votes)

Why did the girl sit on the ladder to sing?

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Avg. 3.01 / 5 Stars (2741 votes)

Which tablet is prefferd by Mickey Mouse?

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Avg. 3.01 / 5 Stars (2732 votes)

Why are fish never good tennis players?

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Avg. 2.94 / 5 Stars (2731 votes)

Why did the little boy drop his ice cream?

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Avg. 2.96 / 5 Stars (2729 votes)

What do you call a man with no arms or legs in a fight with a cat?

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Avg. 2.99 / 5 Stars (2728 votes)

What has forty feet and sings?

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Avg. 2.97 / 5 Stars (2725 votes)

What's 6 inches long, has a head on it and drives women crazy?

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Avg. 2.99 / 5 Stars (2717 votes)

What is Bruce Lee’s favorite drink?

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Avg. 2.99 / 5 Stars (2717 votes)

What is brown and sticky?

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Avg. 3.03 / 5 Stars (2716 votes)

What's the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer?

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Avg. 3 / 5 Stars (2709 votes)

What do you call a sophisticated American?

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Avg. 2.98 / 5 Stars (2702 votes)

Why can't you hear a Pterodactyl going to the toilet?

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Avg. 2.96 / 5 Stars (2700 votes)

What do you call a flightless bird from Iceland?

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Avg. 2.96 / 5 Stars (2699 votes)

When you dream in colour...

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Avg. 3.01 / 5 Stars (2696 votes)

What do you call a black guy flying a plane?

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Avg. 3.02 / 5 Stars (2695 votes)

Where did the music teacher leave his keys?

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Avg. 2.95 / 5 Stars (2692 votes)

Two translators on a sinking ship talking 'Can you swim?' asks one

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Avg. 3.01 / 5 Stars (2689 votes)

How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

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Avg. 3.02 / 5 Stars (2686 votes)

Did you hear what happened to the two guys whole stole a Calendar?

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Avg. 2.93 / 5 Stars (2680 votes)

What did the big Chimney say to the little Chimney?

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Avg. 2.98 / 5 Stars (2675 votes)

What do you serve but not eat?

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Avg. 2.98 / 5 Stars (2674 votes)

A friend of mine recently got crushed by a pile of books...

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Avg. 3 / 5 Stars (2673 votes)

What do you get when you cross a kangaroo with a sheep?

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Avg. 2.98 / 5 Stars (2673 votes)

What do you get when you cross a burger with a PC?

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Avg. 3.02 / 5 Stars (2670 votes)

What do you call a sheep with no legs?

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Avg. 2.98 / 5 Stars (2669 votes)

Which blood type are all pessimists?

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Avg. 3.01 / 5 Stars (2665 votes)

What do you call a bear with no teeth?

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Avg. 3 / 5 Stars (2663 votes)

What did madaline mcann say to her parents?

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Avg. 2.98 / 5 Stars (2656 votes)

What happened when the butcher backed into his meat grinder?

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Avg. 2.95 / 5 Stars (2643 votes)

Why should you never fall in love with a tennis player?

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Avg. 2.98 / 5 Stars (2641 votes)

What did the tennis ball say when it got hit?

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Avg. 3 / 5 Stars (2641 votes)

What do you call a man with a Seagull on his head?

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Avg. 3 / 5 Stars (2628 votes)

What part of the turkey is musical?

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Avg. 3.01 / 5 Stars (2628 votes)

Wanna catch a Squirrel?

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Avg. 2.97 / 5 Stars (2625 votes)

What did the fish say when he swam into a wall?

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Avg. 2.93 / 5 Stars (2624 votes)

It is hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs...

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Avg. 2.97 / 5 Stars (2613 votes)

Why did the Orange stop at the top of the hill?

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Avg. 2.94 / 5 Stars (2613 votes)

What is better than winning gold at the Paralympics?

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Avg. 3 / 5 Stars (2595 votes)

Two snowmen are standing in a field. One says to the other...

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Avg. 2.97 / 5 Stars (2572 votes)

What do you call a little animal you keep in a car?

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Avg. 2.96 / 5 Stars (2569 votes)

How many Surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

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Avg. 2.92 / 5 Stars (2564 votes)

There was a prison break and I saw a midget climb up the fence...

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Avg. 3.02 / 5 Stars (2559 votes)

Why are there no Airports near Peter Pan?

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Avg. 3 / 5 Stars (2551 votes)

What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?

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Avg. 2.94 / 5 Stars (2521 votes)

I used to think the brain was the most important organ

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Avg. 3.01 / 5 Stars (2511 votes)

Next time you feel cold, just stand in a corner...

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Avg. 3.01 / 5 Stars (2508 votes)

What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work?

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Avg. 2.98 / 5 Stars (1318 votes)

Why shouldn't you write with a broken pencil?

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Avg. 3.01 / 5 Stars (1173 votes)

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

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Avg. 2.88 / 5 Stars (1131 votes)

Why don’t they play poker in the jungle?

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Avg. 2.98 / 5 Stars (1094 votes)

Want to hear a joke about a piece of paper?

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Avg. 2.99 / 5 Stars (1050 votes)

Why did the golfer change his pants?

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Avg. 2.99 / 5 Stars (979 votes)

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