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You asked for it! here is a list of all of the jokes currently on rapidfirejokes.com.

A mate of mine was recently sacked from his job at Alton Towers

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Avg. 2.98 / 5 Stars (3283 votes)

I thought I wanted a career...

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Avg. 3.01 / 5 Stars (3169 votes)

Did you hear about the Mexican train killer?

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Avg. 3.04 / 5 Stars (3090 votes)

conjunctivitis.com

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Avg. 2.96 / 5 Stars (3069 votes)

Two muffins in an oven, one turns to the other and says 'bit hot in here'...

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Avg. 3.04 / 5 Stars (3017 votes)

Why don't you ever see a hippo hiding in a tree?

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Avg. 3.02 / 5 Stars (3002 votes)

Why is six afraid of seven?

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Avg. 2.98 / 5 Stars (2992 votes)

Did you hear about the dyslexic devil worshipper

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Avg. 3.02 / 5 Stars (2934 votes)

What did the ocean say to the beach?

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Avg. 3.06 / 5 Stars (2931 votes)

My last job was in a blanket factory...

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Avg. 2.99 / 5 Stars (2901 votes)

Velcro...

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Avg. 3.01 / 5 Stars (2892 votes)

Did you hear the one about the magic tractor?

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Avg. 3.02 / 5 Stars (2889 votes)

A blind man walks into a bar...

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Avg. 2.98 / 5 Stars (2885 votes)

My physics teacher told me I had potential...

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Avg. 3 / 5 Stars (2883 votes)

What do you call a deer with no eyes?

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Avg. 3.06 / 5 Stars (2868 votes)

Why couldn't Batman go fishing?

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Avg. 3.04 / 5 Stars (2859 votes)

What is brown and rhymes with Snoop?

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Avg. 3.08 / 5 Stars (2845 votes)

Ask me if I am an Orange...

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Avg. 2.98 / 5 Stars (2844 votes)

What do you call a cow with no legs?

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Avg. 3.03 / 5 Stars (2827 votes)

What's red and smells like blue paint?

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Avg. 3.06 / 5 Stars (2826 votes)

How do you catch a bra?

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Avg. 2.98 / 5 Stars (2817 votes)

Want to hear a joke about pizza?

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Avg. 3 / 5 Stars (2815 votes)

What's the difference between a 16'' pizza and a musician?

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Avg. 2.93 / 5 Stars (2812 votes)

Where do Burgers and Hot Dogs go to dance?

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Avg. 3.05 / 5 Stars (2808 votes)

What do you call a man with no arms or legs swimming in the sea?

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Avg. 2.95 / 5 Stars (2786 votes)

The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you wake up and does not stop until...

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Avg. 3.05 / 5 Stars (2785 votes)

What kind of shoes do ninjas wear?

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Avg. 2.99 / 5 Stars (2770 votes)

What do you call a midget fortune teller who has just robbed a bank?

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Avg. 3.03 / 5 Stars (2767 votes)

What's the difference between a porcupine and a Porsche?

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Avg. 3.02 / 5 Stars (2764 votes)

Shotgun Weddings...

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Avg. 2.99 / 5 Stars (2761 votes)

Why did the duck go to rehab?

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Avg. 2.99 / 5 Stars (2760 votes)

Why did the Mexican push his wife off a cliff?

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Avg. 3 / 5 Stars (2753 votes)

What does an evil chicken lay?

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Avg. 3.11 / 5 Stars (2745 votes)

How do you know when you are too drunk to drive?

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Avg. 3.05 / 5 Stars (2745 votes)

Why does Alice ask so many questions?

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Avg. 3 / 5 Stars (2745 votes)

What's red and goes up and down?

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Avg. 2.96 / 5 Stars (2731 votes)

What did the fisherman say to the magician?

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Avg. 3.14 / 5 Stars (2730 votes)

Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

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Avg. 3 / 5 Stars (2727 votes)

The other half woke up with a massive smile on their face this morning...

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Avg. 2.93 / 5 Stars (2717 votes)

What do you call a cow that can play a musical instrument?

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Avg. 2.93 / 5 Stars (2713 votes)

Without geometry...

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Avg. 2.97 / 5 Stars (2710 votes)

Why did the Golfer wear two pairs of shoes?

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Avg. 3.03 / 5 Stars (2709 votes)

What's the difference between a smart man and a stupid man?

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Avg. 2.97 / 5 Stars (2709 votes)

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.

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Avg. 3.04 / 5 Stars (2708 votes)

What type of music are balloons scared of?

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Avg. 3 / 5 Stars (2708 votes)

What does a nosey pepper do?

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Avg. 3.05 / 5 Stars (2705 votes)

Have you ever smelled mothballs?

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Avg. 3.01 / 5 Stars (2698 votes)

What do wooden whales eat?

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Avg. 3.02 / 5 Stars (2693 votes)

If con is the opposite of pro...

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Avg. 3.01 / 5 Stars (2690 votes)

I wondered why the Frisbee was getting bigger...

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Avg. 2.97 / 5 Stars (2689 votes)

What is the musical part of a snake?

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Avg. 3 / 5 Stars (2687 votes)

A little boy and a pedophile are walking in the deep, dark, woods. The little boy says, "Mister, I'm scared! These woods are really creepy."

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Avg. 2.94 / 5 Stars (2686 votes)

What makes pirates such good singers?

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Avg. 2.98 / 5 Stars (2678 votes)

How does NASA organize their company party?

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Avg. 3.06 / 5 Stars (2675 votes)

I am a nobody, nobody is perfect...

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Avg. 3 / 5 Stars (2673 votes)

What makes music on your head?

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Avg. 3.02 / 5 Stars (2669 votes)

What was Mickey Mouse doing in outer space?

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Avg. 3.04 / 5 Stars (2661 votes)

Sex is not the answer...

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Avg. 3.05 / 5 Stars (2661 votes)

Doctor: You're overweight. Patient: I think I want a second opinion...

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Avg. 2.96 / 5 Stars (2661 votes)

Why can't Ray Charles see his friends?

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Avg. 3.01 / 5 Stars (2660 votes)

A farmer in the field with his cows counted 196 of them...

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Avg. 3 / 5 Stars (2658 votes)

Sunbathing and reading will make you...

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Avg. 2.99 / 5 Stars (2656 votes)

Magician was walking down the street

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Avg. 2.98 / 5 Stars (2651 votes)

How do you make holy water?

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Avg. 2.99 / 5 Stars (2647 votes)

I would tell you a joke about my penis...

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Avg. 2.94 / 5 Stars (2645 votes)

If infants can enjoy their infancy...

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Avg. 2.99 / 5 Stars (2644 votes)

What do you call a sleepwalking nun?

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Avg. 3.06 / 5 Stars (2641 votes)

What do you call an Alligator in a vest?

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Avg. 3.01 / 5 Stars (2641 votes)

Why did Mozart get rid of his chickens?

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Avg. 2.97 / 5 Stars (2638 votes)

Why are Pirates called Pirates?

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Avg. 3 / 5 Stars (2637 votes)

Why couldn't the athlete listen to her music?

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Avg. 3.04 / 5 Stars (2632 votes)

My uncle has the heart of a lion...

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Avg. 2.97 / 5 Stars (2626 votes)

A dyslexic man walks into a Bra...

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Avg. 2.97 / 5 Stars (2612 votes)

My pet mouse Elvis died today...

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Avg. 3 / 5 Stars (2611 votes)

This guy with a premature ejaculation problem

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Avg. 2.98 / 5 Stars (2609 votes)

A Freudian slip is when you say one thing when you mean...

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Avg. 3.01 / 5 Stars (2606 votes)

What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes?

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Avg. 2.94 / 5 Stars (2606 votes)

How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman?

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Avg. 2.98 / 5 Stars (2605 votes)

I pretend to work here...

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Avg. 3.02 / 5 Stars (2603 votes)

Why do men get married?

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Avg. 3.01 / 5 Stars (2602 votes)

I'm not saying she's fat. But if I had to name 5 of the fattest people I know...

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Avg. 3.02 / 5 Stars (2600 votes)

I used to like my neighbors...

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Avg. 3.02 / 5 Stars (2599 votes)

How do you keep Pumba from charging you?

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Avg. 3.01 / 5 Stars (2599 votes)

The bartender says 'we don't server Time Travelers here'

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Avg. 2.99 / 5 Stars (2598 votes)

I heard on the news that David Beckham is going to miss the World Cup...

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Avg. 2.97 / 5 Stars (2598 votes)

What happens if life gives you melons?

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Avg. 2.99 / 5 Stars (2595 votes)

I accidentally swallowed some Scrabble letters last night...

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Avg. 3.01 / 5 Stars (2594 votes)

The 7 dwarfs were all in the bath feeling Happy...

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Avg. 3.1 / 5 Stars (2593 votes)

What is orange and sounds like a parrot?

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Avg. 3 / 5 Stars (2591 votes)

What is the difference between a fish and a piano?

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Avg. 3 / 5 Stars (2587 votes)

What did one tennis ball say to the other?

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Avg. 2.99 / 5 Stars (2586 votes)

Have you heard about that new movie "Constipation"?

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Avg. 2.97 / 5 Stars (2586 votes)

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?

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Avg. 3 / 5 Stars (2583 votes)

Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff...

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Avg. 2.95 / 5 Stars (2583 votes)

Two fish in a tank, one says to the other...

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Avg. 3.05 / 5 Stars (2570 votes)

Who is the coolest bloke in a hostipal?

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Avg. 2.96 / 5 Stars (2569 votes)

You'll never guess who I bumped into on the way to the opticians!

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Avg. 2.96 / 5 Stars (2567 votes)

What do Tofu and a Dildo have in common?

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Avg. 2.99 / 5 Stars (2566 votes)

What is red and bad for your teeth?

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Avg. 2.98 / 5 Stars (2556 votes)

What is the difference between Swine & Bird Flu?

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Avg. 3.09 / 5 Stars (2553 votes)

If practice makes perfect, and nobody's perfect...

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Avg. 2.99 / 5 Stars (2549 votes)

Which tablet is prefferd by Mickey Mouse?

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Avg. 3.01 / 5 Stars (2537 votes)

What do you call a man with no arms or legs in a fight with a cat?

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Avg. 2.99 / 5 Stars (2530 votes)

What has forty feet and sings?

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Avg. 2.98 / 5 Stars (2528 votes)

What's the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer?

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Avg. 3.01 / 5 Stars (2523 votes)

What is Bruce Lee’s favorite drink?

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Avg. 3 / 5 Stars (2522 votes)

Why did the little boy drop his ice cream?

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Avg. 2.95 / 5 Stars (2522 votes)

What do you call a sophisticated American?

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Avg. 2.98 / 5 Stars (2520 votes)

Why can't you hear a Pterodactyl going to the toilet?

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Avg. 2.95 / 5 Stars (2519 votes)

What is brown and sticky?

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Avg. 3.02 / 5 Stars (2517 votes)

Did you hear what happened to the two guys whole stole a Calendar?

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Avg. 2.92 / 5 Stars (2515 votes)

Why did the girl sit on the ladder to sing?

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Avg. 3.02 / 5 Stars (2514 votes)

Why did Hitler commit suicide?

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Avg. 3.05 / 5 Stars (2513 votes)

Two translators on a sinking ship talking 'Can you swim?' asks one

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Avg. 3 / 5 Stars (2505 votes)

What's 6 inches long, has a head on it and drives women crazy?

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Avg. 2.99 / 5 Stars (2502 votes)

What do you call a sheep with no legs?

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Avg. 2.98 / 5 Stars (2498 votes)

Which blood type are all pessimists?

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Avg. 3.01 / 5 Stars (2497 votes)

How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

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Avg. 3.02 / 5 Stars (2496 votes)

A friend of mine recently got crushed by a pile of books...

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Avg. 3 / 5 Stars (2495 votes)

Why are fish never good tennis players?

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Avg. 2.95 / 5 Stars (2495 votes)

What did the big Chimney say to the little Chimney?

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Avg. 2.98 / 5 Stars (2495 votes)

What do you call a black guy flying a plane?

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Avg. 3.03 / 5 Stars (2492 votes)

What do you call a flightless bird from Iceland?

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Avg. 2.94 / 5 Stars (2492 votes)

Where do ghosts play tennis?

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Avg. 2.96 / 5 Stars (2491 votes)

What do you get when you cross a burger with a PC?

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Avg. 3.02 / 5 Stars (2484 votes)

What do you get when you cross a kangaroo with a sheep?

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Avg. 2.97 / 5 Stars (2472 votes)

What do you serve but not eat?

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Avg. 2.98 / 5 Stars (2470 votes)

When you dream in colour...

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Avg. 3.02 / 5 Stars (2469 votes)

Where did the music teacher leave his keys?

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Avg. 2.94 / 5 Stars (2467 votes)

What did madaline mcann say to her parents?

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Avg. 2.97 / 5 Stars (2462 votes)

What do you call a bear with no teeth?

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Avg. 2.99 / 5 Stars (2460 votes)

What happened when the butcher backed into his meat grinder?

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Avg. 2.96 / 5 Stars (2453 votes)

What did the tennis ball say when it got hit?

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Avg. 3 / 5 Stars (2450 votes)

What did the fish say when he swam into a wall?

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Avg. 2.93 / 5 Stars (2446 votes)

Wanna catch a Squirrel?

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Avg. 2.97 / 5 Stars (2439 votes)

Why should you never fall in love with a tennis player?

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Avg. 2.98 / 5 Stars (2431 votes)

Why did the Orange stop at the top of the hill?

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Avg. 2.94 / 5 Stars (2431 votes)

It is hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs...

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Avg. 2.97 / 5 Stars (2422 votes)

What part of the turkey is musical?

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Avg. 3.01 / 5 Stars (2422 votes)

What do you call a man with a Seagull on his head?

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Avg. 2.99 / 5 Stars (2417 votes)

What is better than winning gold at the Paralympics?

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Avg. 2.99 / 5 Stars (2415 votes)

Two snowmen are standing in a field. One says to the other...

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Avg. 2.97 / 5 Stars (2402 votes)

What do you call a little animal you keep in a car?

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Avg. 2.96 / 5 Stars (2387 votes)

Why are there no Airports near Peter Pan?

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Avg. 3 / 5 Stars (2383 votes)

How many Surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

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Avg. 2.93 / 5 Stars (2375 votes)

There was a prison break and I saw a midget climb up the fence...

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Avg. 3.02 / 5 Stars (2359 votes)

What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?

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Avg. 2.93 / 5 Stars (2341 votes)

Next time you feel cold, just stand in a corner...

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Avg. 3.01 / 5 Stars (2336 votes)

I used to think the brain was the most important organ

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Avg. 3.01 / 5 Stars (2328 votes)

What do you call a can opener that doesnít work?

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Avg. 2.96 / 5 Stars (1118 votes)

Why shouldn't you write with a broken pencil?

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Avg. 2.99 / 5 Stars (973 votes)

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

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Avg. 2.87 / 5 Stars (938 votes)

Why donít they play poker in the jungle?

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Avg. 2.97 / 5 Stars (926 votes)

Want to hear a joke about a piece of paper?

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Avg. 2.98 / 5 Stars (874 votes)

Why did the golfer change his pants?

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Avg. 2.98 / 5 Stars (815 votes)